As a homeschooling mom going into public school for the first time with FIVE kids, I just have to say: WHAT IN THE HOLY HECK!?!?
It took 4 hours to get everybody wrapped up with first day "homework" (signing piles of *#%¥) and Michael had to pinch hit dinner from Costco because...😱I've been practicing the morning school routine with the kids for the last two weeks. Getting up at 5:30 for seminary, dressed and out the door. I'll admit to driving my route to figure out logistics and timing. I've also done a cost analysis on packing vs school lunch. This is our morning spread. They have several options to pick from and their limit is $2 from the menu (actual price break down from Costco 🤓...and yes I realize some of the fresh fruit/veggie prices are still missing). School lunch is $3.50 per kid, so I consider this winning. Yes, I'm neurotic.
On the plus side, getting up, dressed, packed and out the door was completely flawless!
My great Aunt Donna passed away this last week. Such a great lady and so loved. This is my second family funeral this week. 😥 God is calling a lot of people home lately.
😂😂😂Try this!!! Say, "Rise up lights" and you'll sound like an Australian saying "Razor blades". TRIPPY!!!!
Complaining doesn't fix anything, but often makes everybody around you miserable. But it also sets a pattern for ongoing negativity. Be happy!! This explains how to break the cycle.
“Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better.” ~Unknown
When I was about sixteen or so, one of my parent’s friends got into some trouble with the law. When we’d visit him he’d often shake his head from side to side and mumble, my life is in the toilet.
He said it many times, for many years, even when things seemed to have gotten better for him.
My life is in the toilet was his mantra.
At the time I thought it was funny, so I adopted it for myself, until one day I started to believe it. I’ve since dumped that charming phrase and gotten a new mantra.
Things haven’t magically become ideal for me since I did that. I mean, there’s this pinched nerve in my neck and those construction sounds across the street, and I could really use some more work, and…
Everyone complains, at some point, at least a little, says Robin Kowalski, PhD, a professor of psychology at Clemson University.
There are different types of complainers, according to Kowalski, such as The Venter. The Venter is a “dissatisfied person who doesn’t want to hear solutions, however brilliant.”
Venting. We’re just letting off steam, right? Maybe not. I’ve personally found that the complain drain can be soul draining, not just for the complainer, but for all within earshot.
Other types you may have met along the way (or may be yourself) are the Sympathy Seekers, the I got it worse than you do, and the habitual everything sucks folks.
The Chronic Complainers, those living in a state of complaint, do something researchers call “ruminating.” This basically means thinking and complaining about a problem again and again. Instead of feeling a release after complaining, this sort of complaining can actually make things worse. It can cause even more worry and anxiety.
No one is suggesting you be a peachy-keen-Josephine and pretend all is swell when it isn’t. What I’ve learned in my mindfulness practice is to aim to do the opposite.
In mindfulness meditation, we try to experience fully the truth of the situation, in this exact moment, and allow it to just be. Easier said than done (but what isn’t?) Still, with practice, the need to express our dissatisfaction for things not being how we’d like them to be lessens.
Running with this drain analogy…
Call Roto-Rooter, that’s the name and away go troubles down the drain!
When I was a kid I loved singing along to those Roto-Rooter commercials. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could “away go troubles down the drain?” Well, maybe we can.
Most of us may have been unintentionally reinforcing the nasty habit of complaining, by virtue of… complaining.
There’s something called “experience-dependent neuroplasticity,” which is the continuing creation and grouping of neuron connections in our brains that take place as a result of our life experiences.
Neuroscience teaches us that neurons that fire together, wire together. Donald Hebb, a Canadian neuropsychologist, coined that phrase back in 1949. What this means is that whenever we think a thought or have a feeling or physical sensation, thousands of neurons are triggered and they all get together to form a neural network.
With repetitive thinking, the brain learns to trigger the same neurons each time.
So, if you keep your mind looping on self-criticism, worries, and how nothing is working out for you, your mind will more easily find that part of your brain and will quickly assist you in thinking those same thoughts again.
This shapes your mind into greater reactivity, making you more vulnerable to anxiety.
Imagine a truck driving down a muddy road. The wheels create a groove in the mud, and each time that truck drives down that exact spot, the groove gets deeper and deeper.
The truck might even, eventually, get stuck in that mud rut. But it doesn’t have to. Instead of repeating the same negative complaints, we can drive our thoughts on a different road so we don’t get stuck in that negative mud rut.
Throughout our lives we are wiring our brains, based on our repetitive thinking. We get good at what we practice.
If we worry, creating more unease and anxiety, we become stellar worriers since our brain is responding, making it easier for us to worry each time we do it, thus creating our default mode living.
Default mode living is our habitual way of going about our lives. It’s our reacting minds as opposed to ourresponding minds.
Our reacting minds are often knee-jerk reactions to something. We often say or do things that we’ve said and done in the past, as if we were in that default mode living, on automatic pilot. But our responding minds come into play when we give ourselves a pause before responding to a situation.
We ask ourselves what’s really going on and what the next best step is. It’s a clearer response in the moment that’s not linked to past responses. So, how do we respond instead of react?
You’re stuck in traffic and not only are you complaining out loud to the cars that are in your way, you’re imagining getting home and complaining to tell your significant other all about it. You’re practicing this conversation in your head while in the car. Your heart races, your forehead tenses up. It’s all so very annoying! What to do?
During meditation we soon find out that our minds will wander. The moment when we notice it wandering and we bring it back to our focus, our breath, that moment is what one of my teachers calls “that magic moment.”
The catching yourself is the practice. Also, the not judging or berating yourself for having a mind that thinks thoughts. All minds think thoughts. That’s their job.
So to stop the drain:
I’ve tried it; I simply can’t seem to complain and be grateful at the same time!
I’m stuck in traffic, but I’m grateful to have a car. I’m grateful for the song that’s playing on the radio and the sunny day.
It doesn’t matter what you’re grateful for; it can be the smallest thing, just notice. Complaining could very well be the evil twin of gratitude. Favor gratitude.
In Buddhism, wise effort is letting go of that which is not helpful and cultivating that which is skillful.
In the book Awakening the Buddha Within, Lama Surya Das breaks down wise effort into four aspects, the first one being, restraint: “the effort to prevent unskillful thoughts and actions.”
Make the effort to pay attention and catch your complaining, negative thoughts before they become words.
Try it out and see how it feels. You might be surprised as to where you habitually have been putting your energy. Everything takes a certain amount of energy.
Next time you find yourself caught in a complaining loop, pause and regroup. Make the choice to put your energy elsewhere. The more you do this, the easier it gets.
Just the way our thoughts created that groove to make negative thoughts easier to replicate, we can create a brand new groove for pleasant feelings.
The more often we allow our minds to remember the good stuff, the easier that kind of thinking becomes.
Do you want to be the person who’s never satisfied and can always find fault in others, yourself, and the world at large? Or would you rather be someone who sees things as they are and finds a way to make peace with it? Let’s pretend it’s up to you. Oh, wait, it is up to you.
So, what do you say? You don’t need Roto Rooter to flush your troubles down the drain. Just make a new groove.
Buy 4 tires, get a baby free!
Overdue for new tires on the Excursion. Never mind the nail on the right front side, the sidewall gash on the driver's side, and the other nearly bald back tires 😱.
OMGsh!!! Are you freaking kidding me!?!? THIS is what's hot right now? In that case I've got a whole box of garbage, I mean, couture for REAL cheap.
Wilson disease is an inherited condition that causes the body to retain excess copper. The liver of a person who has Wilson's disease does not release copper as it should. As the copper builds up in the liver, it begins to damage the organ. Some people will have mental health-related signs and symptoms when copper builds up in the central nervous system. Signs and symptoms may include •personality changes •depression •feeling anxious, or nervous, about most things •psychosis—when a person loses contact with reality" Your body needs small amounts of copper from food to stay healthy. But too much copper is poisonous. When you have Wilson disease, copper buildup begins when you are born. But it can take years or even decades for symptoms to appear. Symptoms can start at any age but in most cases they start between ages 5 and 35. Wilson disease can lead to many liver-related problems including: •Liver damage •Redness or swelling (inflammation) of the liver, called hepatitis •Chronic liver damage (cirrhosis) causing scarring and liver failure •Liver failure Neurological symptoms can make it difficult for you to function normally. Brain damage is also possible. Wilson disease is fatal if untreated. |
There once was a young new bride on her wedding day preparing to walk down the isle. Her mother came in to see the bride one last time before she would be a Mrs. The bride gushed to her mother, "I'm at the end of all my troubles!" The wise mother responded, "Yes, but YOU don't know which end yet."
A day in San Fransisco visiting the De Young museum. 😁 But now I remember why it's been so long since I've taken small children there. 😖
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| Make a wish! |
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| Anti-Mass. A play on words. The pieces are the chard remains of a church that was destroyed by arson. The arrangement gives a sense of anti-gravity. But the name Mass is a nod to Sunday services that used to be held there. |
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| Classical art and sculpture is a personal favorite. |
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| Here's a throwback tribute to the last time we visited. |
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| From the observation deck. |
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| Exhausted and bored out of their minds. What?!?! |
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| Hide and seek in the rose garden. |
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| The illusion of movement is all within the flat pattern of the material. |
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| Superman is always a favorite! |
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| Don't touch, Peter! |
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| Stone that looks like light flowing material. Now that's talent! |
